堅持信靠的Brian's Blog

Today Uncle TJ came to visit. He told me that my testimony at GCCI is still inspiring them there, and that he's emailing my daily updates to his friends. Actually, that statement alone encouraged me, in that there are even more people reading my entries, so that motivated me to continue writing. Thanks, Mr. Uncle! :D
He also talked with me about a conversation he had with Pastor Howard about life after death. So it seems that after we die, we go to Sheol, a place where people who died before Jesus came go, whether righteous or not. There's also an upper and lower chamber, where the upper chamber is for the righteous, and the lower for the not. There is also a division, and the righteous and the not righteous can communicate with each other. I thought it was a very interesting conversation.
So today I got two bags of blood, ate well, and was knocked for three hours almost immediately after they gave me the premeds until dinnertime, which was at around 8pm. Hopefully my body can start producing its own blood, so that I don't have to receive other people's blood.
Prayers for today: Jake's family will be able to find a donor that matches with his; we need to believe it will happen.
Also that my body will be creating its own blood, red and white both, so that my immune system's function can be up and running soon.
Also, I saw myself on Fox Sports today! It was as long as I had thought it would be, though, and my fifteen seconds of fame turned out to be five seconds long. But Vivian's drawing was shown at the end, so I guess it's all good.
Well, it's getting pretty late, and my parents say I need my beauty sleep (not sure if that's a good thing) so good night, everybody, and God be with us all! 

Brian

Lunch was a little rushed today. I think my mom was freaking and stressing out over the rushedness of the imminent meeting later on. At first she told me to hurry up and finish my meal, but after she got everything ready, she told me to take my time. I was like, Wut is this?! 
Anyways, the BMT meeting today was very informative- a little too much so, I'd say. I learned a little more than I'd wanted to about it. Right after the meeting, I was premeditated for platelets and blood. I hadn't noticed the day before, but last night I had bumped my arm against the table and, due to my low platelets, it bruised and I now have a purple elbow. Meh.
However, right after the platelet transfusion finished, my parents found out that my body had reacted to it and broken out in hives. Not large ones, though, but they itched like crazy. I almost couldn't stand it! But in the end I did, so it's all good.
So I learned last night that my nurse's dad is a sous chef, and she had some tips for my "cuisines". For example, we had some apple pie laying around and she saw it, and offered to get us some ice cream to go along with it. Yum. For dinner today, I made an improvised Philly cheese steak sammich out of two garlic breads, American sliced cheese, grilled onions, and meatloaf. Y'know, I think I could start a new show on Food Network. It'll be called "MacGyver: Hospital Food Edition". It'll show what I make with the limited resources of the hospital food(s). Aw, man! I forgot to take a picture of the improvised Philly cheese steak! Ah well. I'll just take pictures of it tomorrow when I make it again.
Prayers for today: Pray that Jake's family will find a compatible donor for his BMT procedure,
that my blood counts (which were dangerously low today) can come up quickly, and that my body doesn't react to the blood that they give me.
The BMT lady who came to the meeting kept saying "IF Brian survives the procedure…." but I just imagined that she was saying "After the the BMT procedures…." because I know that this BMT will be successful, and that I still have not finished my duties are not yet completed. I still have a long ways to go before my time here is finished.

Brian

Whew, now that the CAHSEE's done and over with, this morning was so much more relaxed (meaning I could sleep in a bit). However, this meant that now I have homework. Ah well, at least it was easy enough, just have to do more, so it takes longer. Easy peasy.
The lady who came yesterday with the camera crew came back with the consent forms (she had run out yesterday) and informed us that I would be in the documentary on the new CHLA, which will air this Saturday at 3:30-4:00 and next Wednesday at 3:00-3:30. And the lady said that she had already seen the final clip, and I was shown for 15-20 seconds. I guess this means that my 15 seconds of fame is literally 15 seconds long. I also saw the camera guy focus his lenses on Vivian's drawing, so my 15 seconds of fame will be shared with Vivian's drawing. 
Meh, that's about all the excitement for today. 
So apparently, Justin has gone home, since my dad says he has not seen him in a while, since he usually walks out in the halls with his mom, but my dad hasn't seen him nor his mom in a while. Prayers do come true!
Now we just have to pray for Jake, that his family find will find a matching donor, and that his procedure would go through smoothly.
My immune system is still close to zero, so also pray that it can rise quickly.
Oh! Also, there will be a bone marrow meeting tomorrow. Many people will be here for the meeting, like Pastor Kwan, Pastor Dennis, Vivian, etc., etc. Pray that the meeting will cover everything and will be very informative. Thanks, guys. God bless. 

   Brian

Oh, yesterday I forgot to mention a conversation I had with the nurse's aide, Tiffani. So she asked me if I had a favorite Bible verse. The question not only caught me a bit off guard, but also made me think… I realized that I didn't, and she told me I should, so I told her that I'll find one, and that when she comes back later, I'll have found a verse that defines my relationship with God. In the end, I decided on 
Genesis 1:3,
And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light.
The significance of this verse to me is that- Okay, let's put it this way: How many of you can create light? And I don't mean like with a flashlight or anything, I mean create immense lights like the sun. Huh? Huh? None of you, right? Well, God can, and that much power is on our side. He has the power to create things ex nihilo, so what have we to fear? This is why this leukemia stuff doesn't bother me. I know that things will work out just fine in the end.
Romans 8:31
If God be for us, who dare be against us?

So today's CAHSEE testing went just fine. I was just so worried because my dad described the testing time as 9 to 9 (I think I mentioned that before) so I was like, I'm gonna have to test for nine hours?! But no, I didn't have to test that long. In the end it turned out to be running out of time, so maybe 9 to 9 would have been better. Meh, go figure.
So for the essay portion, the topic was to write about your inspiration(s). I could've written a funny one about, oh, I don't know, the idiots in school who do none of the homework assigned to them yet somehow are still able to stay in school, but no, I decided to do an essay about my family, the sacrifices they made to be with me, and how they inspire me. I think I did a pretty good job on it. Pity I had to give it to the proctor to take to her office. Ah well, at least I was able to sneak some pictures of the final draft. Shhh….
Oh, Fox News came to film some stuff to let people know about the new hospital 'n stuff during my testing. I was happy to let them interrupt (I needed a break anyway). It happened like this: I was in the middle of test-taking, when all of a sudden, the doctor walks right in and goes, "Hey, wanna be on TV?" On my part, there was only silence for a few seconds (this particular doctor was known for making jokes). Then I realized he wasn't kidding. I looked at my proctor, and she held up her hands to tell me I could, then to my mom, who told me it was my choice. Finally, I said, "I'm camera-shy(?)" The doctor shrugged and said, "Okay," and left. Then it dawned on me what a stupid response that was. I told my mom that if he was still in the hall, call him back in. So he came back with the camera guy and started filming. He put the stethoscope to my forehead and commented, "I hear nothing going on in there. I don't know how you'll be able to pass this test." Very funny, Dr. Reitman. But it was fun, doing a small infomercial for the hospital (and to have my 15 seconds of fame). As the camera crew left, we asked when it would show on Fox this weekend. They didn't give us a specific time, though. Guess the TV will be on Fox News all weekend. Keep a lookout for me on Fox guys. xD

Brian

Whew, by the grace of God, the CAHSEE was easy peasy. I finished the mathematics portion of the test. There was even a questionnaire at the very end that asked if I had any difficulty with the test, how I studied/prepared for it, what I would do if I didn't pass it. To be honest, I don't think it was possible, me not passing the test on the first try. Like I said before, it was easy peasy. I gots this hands down. However, tomorrow I test for English, and the way my dad described it, I test from 9 to 9, so now I'm just super worried that I'll fall asleep in the middle of testing. But the supervisor is pretty nice; I'm sure she'll let me take breaks. My teacher just keeps adding "only until tomorrow" to the end of every sentence to let me know how long I have to finish the entire test. Thaaaat makes me nervous. :(
Anyways, after I finished testing, I taught my dad some Ingrish. I think it went pretty well. It was a fun time for us- well, for me, anyways. x)
Today, in my devotions, it talked about loving your enemies. Well, actually, it talked about loving your neighbors, but usually our enemies are our neighbors, and how it was easy to love someone who do unflattering things to you, but the Lord told us to love the people to do loathsome things to you as well. Several people came to mind when I read that. >:/
Then, after a quick nap and a shower, my mom and Vivian came (along with dinner) and we had a nice family dinner. It felt good to feel normal again. :)
Prayers for today:
That my testing would be over with and done so I won't have to worry about it anymore, and my blood counts would come back up quickly,
that Justin would be able to finish his treatments quickly and painlessly so that his family would be able to see God work a miracle in their lives,
and for Jake and his family, that they would be able to find a matching donor to complete his BMT procedure, safely and efficiently.

Brian

Today I woke up feeling fine. Best I've been in days! When the doctor came, he checked up on me, and I took some time to show off my delicious creation from yesterday. :D
So the teacher came today. She'd been reading on one of my writings. Apparently I write too much unnecessary stuff in my entries. Meh. I guess it's my style? I dunno.
Anyways, after everything else "educational" was done, we looked up the CHSPE and the CAHSEE. It turns out that most high schoolers take the CAHSEE in their freshmen year. I am like, 3 years behind now. Lol. So tomorrow I will be taking the CAHSEE early in the morning, at 9 'o clock. Yeah, I know that's already pretty late for most of you, but seriously, this is the guy who'd been waking up at near noon for the past week, so cut me some slack, right?
Then sometime before dinner and after lunch (if you haven't noticed by now, I like food. It's nomnomnom-delicioso.), the nurse came and told me that I was off all my antibiotics, so she didn't have to hook me back up to the pole! Woohoo! Zamayzoo! :D
I am now much more free in movement and am no longer restricted by the length of the IV, of the placement of the outlet, or of the power cord. Thank you, Lord! You ARE the one who hears and answers prayers!! :D
So here are the prayer requests:
-That I can continue to be this healthy, and that my blood counts would be able to quickly rise, so that my visitors would be less restricted,
-For Justin, the infant back in room 07, to be able to get his treatment over with quickly and painlessly, and for his family to ask Jesus into their hearts, and
-For Jake and his family, that they would be able to find a matching donor and that he would be able to leave without any permanent battle scars.

Brian

Hm, I haven't updated in a few days. Hope y'all weren't too worried over my lack of updates. It was mostly because I came up with a fever after they transfused (which in simpler terms means give through the IV-- Hey, who says Facebook isn't a waste of time? You just learned a new word!) two bags of blood and a bag of platelets. It was a couple of hours after the transfusion that the fever transpired, so my parents are pretty sure that the fever had nothing to do with the transfusion. thankfully, the fever his time wasn't as bad as last time, when it lasted 4-5 days and I was miserable as heck. But this time, I didn't even know that I had a fever until they took my temperature, 'cos I felt fine this time around. This time, the fever was on the inside, which was why I didn't feel hot. That was two nights ago. Last night I sweat a lot. My dad said it was because my bone marrow is making new blood cells, and that is exothermic, and so I sweat. Hm.
Anyways, today was a pretty good day. No fevers, everything was normal, except for waking up with sweaty clothes. Seriously. You would not believe how wet they are when I first wake up.
So, today I finally got to complete my small project, which I had been thinking about for a couple of days: making a Souplantation-style tuna tarragon. For those of you who have never been to Souplantation, you have not yet lived. Another ways to describe it is tuna pasta salad. Let me tell you, as long as you can eat seafood, IT IS DELICIOUS. So today I made tuna tarragon out of hospital food, I tasted a tiny bit, it tastes delicious, and I gave it to the nurse to refrigerate until dinner. And that was my day.

Brian

I discovered that each day I write less and less. This is partially because I do less and less each day, but it's also partially because, life is boring when nothing's wrong with it. But that's not to say, life needs to have problems in order to be interesting. Sometimes we just need a little color in it. Other times, we just need to relax and enjoy the quietness.
In my daily devotions today, the topic was about God's perfect timing. It said that sometimes, His perfect timing doesn't really feel perfect. This I agree to completely. Like, if God can do anything, why doesn't he just clap his hands and poof, I'm healed of leukemia, once and for all, never to hear of disease again. But then of course I wouldn't have learned anything, and I'd still be racing through every day, never bothering to slow down and actually enjoy the day. This might explain why I was so miserable before. But now I realize that God has a purpose in allowing leukemia to take over my body. I can think of several reasons why God would do this, and several others what it would accomplish.
First, it was an answer to my prayer from a looooong time ago. Not many of you know this story, but, seeing so many guest speakers come to our church and give their testimony, I actually asked for God to give me a testimony. What I had in mind at the time was for God to let me witness a miracle or something. Never, in my wildest dreams, had I ever imagined that I would be the miracle I would witness. And believe me, I can dream some pretty fantastical dreams.
Second, much of the feedback I get from writing these daily updates are about how I am such an inspiration to them. Now when I write these, I never think of the reception that they get, I only use these pages as my diary, so to speak.
Third, I believe that God is using this to make my life a better testimony. When I went home this April, many people noted how different I was (in a good way) from before. There were comments about how I smiled a lot more than before, and one person asked if my brain was affected by the disease (I don't think he was kidding). Well, yes, my brain was affected, but I don't think it was from leukemia. I believe it was touched by God, to allow me to see the lighter side of things. Of course, sometimes the old me will slip through, but I'm still working on fixing that.
Indeed, God has perfect timing. While we may not see it now, years from now we'll look back and understand completely. This is what I'm hoping God will do with my relapse, let me understand why now, of all times.
Frequently the richest answers are not the speediest. . . . A prayer may be all the longer on its voyage because it is bringing us a heavier freight of blessing. -Charles Spurgeon

Today, I have two people in my prayers. Well, several, but there are two at the top of my list. The first is Justin, the 1-year-old boy in my old room. Pray that his chemo can be very successful in destroying all the cancer cells in his body. Second is a boy called Jake. I've never met him before, but my mom knows his dad. Jake has the same exact type of leukemia as me (AML leukemia) and been through everything that I've been through, before I went through them. the only difference is, they have yet to find a match for his bone marrow transplant procedure. Pray that his family will find a matching donor for his BMT procedure.

Brian