堅持信靠的Brian's Blog

Brian Liu                                                          5:43pm Dec 6 December 6, 2012 [Day +59 post-chemo]   The bone marrow aspirate and biopsy yesterday showed that leukemia cells are still present in my body. However, today, after two months of being in the hospital, I can finally go home. The doctors feel like I've been here for far too long (two months, since October), so they want me to go home and relax for a while. At the present moment, the plan (that I've heard so far) is to come back on Monday to see the doctor, and that's all I know for now. When I found out that there were still cancer cells in my body, I reacted much differently than I thought I would. That is to say, I didn't really react. The emotions one would expect me to feel, I didn't. I really, really don't want to care about all this anymore. It's too stressful to have to deal with all this; it can't be healthy. These past few days my devotionals are all saying that God is sovereign, and to "cast our worries upon Him". Whether coincidence or not, that is actually good advice during times like this, that when everything is beyond our control, ought not waste our time worrying, but instead hand it all over to Him who can actually do something about your worries. We may not always know WHY something happens, but the sovereign Lord knows what he's doing. He won't give up on you, and neither should you give up on Him. Stay in faith, and your reward will come eventually.